So the missus and I finally saw the new Batman flick. The Dark Knight.

I suppose I should state here that I don’t intend to talk about movies too super often. It’s not a movie blog. In theory, it’s a blog intended to catalogue Shannon and I’s development as a married couple, in the physical sense and in sort of the emotional sense. All that to say that this isn’t a thing of habit.

Finally saw Dark Knight about two weeks ago. That wasn’t the intention. We had wanted to see it sooner, but various obligations kept us from doing so.

I have to say I was a little disappointed. Every person I heard hyped it up like I was seeing Citizen Kane, Casa Blanca and Gone With the Wind all in one. It wasn’t bad. And I suppose I should say that I liked it more than I disliked it, by a lot. Heath Ledger is worth the price of admission just by himself. Two Face was as gay as the spoon drawer, and Batman’s “scary” hushed voice sounds really hokey. I would rather just suspend disbelief that no one catches on that it’s Bruce’s voice, and he speak in an octave that’s discernible from, say, the can opener.

But Two Face. This movie would have been about 3 times better without him. I’m not certain why those who make movies feel like they always need to have a minimum of two villains in a movie about super heroes, but they don’t. And if they can’t actually develop both, they shouldn’t. That was Two Face’s whole problem. I understand that his prior ego (before the hideous transformation) Harvey Dent was supposed to be a good guy, so they really have to play that up. I’m fine with that. If you want, have him be the saint all in this movie, and then in the next he can hideously transform into the bad guy. But don’t cram both into a movie that’s already full of Rube Goldberg like contrivances.

That’s another thing. The movie way over stuffs itself full of plot elements to get its characters where the director wanted to be: mainly Batman helpless and desperate, and the Joker in a place of power. Oh, and Two Face. And seeing as how Joker stole the show, they could have eliminated a good hour’s worth of contrivances and had a cleaner more efficient movie.

One of the contrivances is Bruce and Harvey (pre Two Face) love triangular character Rachel, who actually hasn’t been in the comics. That in itself doesn’t bug me. What does bug me is that they keep trying to foist girls off on Bruce/Batman. In the comics, the only person he’s ever been interested in was Catwoman (to the best of my knowledge). Beyond that, he’s a total loaner.

So, I could even accept them pushing a girl on him, but the character they conjured up is borderline retarded. She’s bitchy the whole time telling Bruce and Harvey alternatively how dumb they are, and how dumb everything in general is, and being generally unimpressed by everything, which leaves me unimpressed and leads me to believe the only reason they’re chasing after her is because she must be some “good ass” to “tap.”

And then, when she dies, all of a sudden, everyone remembers her for being so in favor of everything and thinking everyone was amazing and that everything was generally awesome! Bruce has some lame realization that he has to keep being the Batman in honor of her memory despite the fact that she told him several times in each movie that he was dumb for doing it blah blah blah.

Which brings me to another point. In all of these movies, there’s always someone or some group of people bitching about the people that dress up in pajamas and do good. I don’t get it. And I’m not sure what this is a complaint against per se, but if the person dressing up in pajamas is doing an actually good job and putting actually bad people in prison, than what’s the big deal? So, of course, that’s out in force in this movie about how you can’t trust cape crusaders blah blah blah. And like I said, this isn’t really a complaint about the movie. Maybe a complaint about the way people are.

The last thing is how Batman WILL NOT KILL, no matter what, ever. It is mostly a good trait, but there has to be an “unless” clause or something in there. There’s a scene in the movie where he has a chance to kill Joker, but he doesn’t. The Joker then goes on to kill and cause the deaths of countless others. Oh, but Bruce’s conscious is clear, so that’s good. Dumb. I’m also not saying a hero needs to kill everyone who looks at him cross ways, but at the same time, I think a proper hero recognizes that, reformable or not, this person/mutant/apocalyptic menace just needs to quit existing, and they are such a person to do it.

So, that’s pretty much it. Batman was good, but I guess if the Joker isn’t on screen, then you could probably take a nap if you want.