Dear Santa,

You may have noticed that I have been almost unbelieveably good this year. In fact, I can’t remember ever being so good.  I have not stolen any cookies, hit my brother, lied to my mom, or neglected to do my homework.

The great thing about getting older is that the list of things that are naughty is suddenly much smaller. All the rules put in place to train you are removed, and you are left on your own to decide what constitutes a good life.

Here is all the good stuff I did this year:

Graduated from college.

Got married to a nice boy.

Paid my bills.

Got a job as a kindergarten teacher and did well at it.

Here’s what I didn’t do so great at:

Patience, kindness, selflessness, controlling my temper, self-denial, gratitude and avoiding gossip.

So  the big stuff is still there, I guess. Always will be. I can accomplish stuff that makes my parents proud, but that isn’t what really makes me feel I’ve progressed. the only progress I feel I’ve made is the tiny handful times I managed to control myself in any of the above-mentioned ways without the threat of a spanking to reign me in. I did it myself.

All that makes my list seem silly, now. Still, in the spirit of kindergarten priorities and since I’ve got my list for what I’m making for everyone else all prepared…

For Christmas I would like A GIANT SQUID. squid This one is neat too, although not quite as neat:octopus

A robot that cleans things, like this: robot
A robot that wakes you up: robot

I would like a kitchen timer shaped like something amusing, like this: timer

I would like a sewing machine like this: sewing machine

I would like this amazing book: book

I would like this squid shadow puppet: squid
A necklace like this: necklace

An i-dog: dog
The Octonaut books: book
Edward Gorey books: book

A french coffee press that makes extra-good coffee: coffee

A pink deer lamp (gawd help us) deer lamp

A cookie jar that looks like a cupcake: cookie jar
And I would like a puppy. A Bassett or a Dachshund. I know I won’t really get one, but I thought I’d ask anyway.