I was just thinking. I had forgotten the final resolution I’d made that year when I made my more successful ones. It was to not hide my personality behind a fake personality. I feel it’s served me well. I think it’s worked out better for me than when I used to put up a public veneer. My real personality is perhaps not the most elegant tool, and the veneer is certainly less harsh, but it’s kind of bland. Showing off my personality has been sort of a freeing practice. But it’s kind of hard. Some days when I’m not paying attention, when I’m being a little lax, when I’m trying hard, I’ll accidentally slip back back into that veneer.

Along those lines, I’m going to stop giving milquetoast answers. “What it is I mean by this?” you might ask. For example, when people ask, “so, what church you going to?” and I saymumble that I’m not, and they ask why (very shockedly I may add), I will simply say, “not interested,” instead of the white lie method I’ve knee-jerk developed of saying that I just haven’t found one yet. It’s true I haven’t found one, but that also implies I’ve been looking. Which I haven’t.

I was actually thinking about this while watching Steve Jobs give the graduation speech at Stanford. He said the thing about how he woke up every morning and thought, “if I were going to die tomorrow, would I want to do the thing I’m going to do today?” A statement like that king of actually means something coming from a guy like that. But instead of thinking about what I am doing, it just kind of made me think that I often say things I don’t mean, or at least in ways I don’t mean it.

If one is interested, one can find the speech nyahways.

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